The empty classroom

This is it. I find myself here.

I look at the door.

I see people outside in the lawns.

I watch them giggle, laugh, talk

They pass time while others are friends forever

I am here in this empty classroom which is not so empty.

This is me, wanting to be alone and not wanting to be lonely.

Maybe This would change. Maybe someday, when I would look at the door,

I would see someone smiling at me.

Maybe someone would love me too. Maybe someday I will have a friend too.

Till then it’s me here. Looking at the beam of sunlight that is enough to spark hope in me.

After all, this class room is not so empty.

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12 September 2017

This is me, a girl who has learnt to live life to its fullest. This chapter of my life is called happiness. It took time, it took courage but my heart is no longer broken.

I put it back together, piece by piece.

I started writing to vent out all feelings, I had inside me. This blog knows my journey. I watch myself evolve.

” A problem becomes a problem only if you believe it to be so. And often others see you as you see yourself ” says Krishna to Draupadi, Palace of Illusions

I rant about everything I feel and it’s okay if people don’t decipher this.

Because it’s all about loving and embracing who you are.

People will hurt you. Just make sure you no more get hurt.

Above all, I learnt to forgive.

It’s about forgiveness to those who never realised what they did, who weren’t even sorry.

I am at peace that acceptance finally came my way and denial is all gone.

Healing is beautiful. It comes with liberation and kindness.

Sending all the positive vibes to the one reading this, may you get all the happiness, you deserve

Clouds in my coffee

8 September 2017

I have been thinking about something that caught my mind a few months back.

People amaze me. I see them smiling even when they are going through the roughest times in their lives. They bear pain that no one knows about.

It’s strange that people win battles we know nothing about.

I feel they are the strongest. We see them laughing, joking around but we don’t know what actually goes on in their lives. Some hidden grieves in life really take time to heal.

I feel we judge each other very easily. We make permanent opinions without knowing the reality.

Maybe we are wrong. Maybe some people act as if they don’t have a heart and are insensitive but in actuality they are really considerate and good beings.

Life has just shaped them this way.

Sometimes when people are frustrated and annoyed over petty issues, it’s because they are struggling with something the world doesn’t know about.

The fear of humiliation does not let them speak about their problems aloud.

Sometimes we make wrong decisions,we misjudge people. We misunderstand them. We humiliate without even realising.

Maybe waking up and staying in bed all day can be an achievement. That doesn’t make the person lazy. People do the best they can. We never know what someone is going through.

Everyone we meet is struggling. There is always a reason behind every single behaviour we show.

Life is tough for everyone. Kindness is all we need.

Life is never always happy or always sad. It’s to be experienced and accepted the way it comes. Time heals only if we want ourselves to heal. Let’s allow ourselves to progress each day.

Love,

Clouds in my coffee

6 September 2017

Dear society,

Please tell her to let go, tell her to stop, tell her, she is just another girl seeking attention. You can accuse her of faking her anxiety. Tell her she isn’t sad. After all, everything was her fault.

Convince her, that it’s okay that someone ruined her life because everyone in this generation takes relationships casually. Yes, laugh at her and gossip about it.

You can go on and tell her that it’s better to forget what happened because it happened long back.

Perhaps there can be a difference in what people think she is and who she actually is. This is sad.

Also, It makes me more sad when I see monsters around me. As I write this, I feel terrible to think a priest in the temple can actually inappropriately touch little girls. Girls who don’t even realise what a bad touch is.

It is heartbreaking to see how this world has become such an evil place. Somethings are seen clearly and are still hidden.

A girl madly in love with a boy is just another girl for him. How can a boy play with her feelings so causally and break her. I see how some boys use girls for satisfying their own sexual desires. I see boys cheating and thinking it’s alright to do so.

Maybe she never said, ‘STOP’ or maybe she did and you couldn’t understand. You caused an overwhelming breakdown that shattered her. Maybe when boys take things casually, they end up destroying lives.

It is the love that suffers. Because trust is gone and hope is no where.

You know, the day you lost her, she lost herself too.

I feel suffocated in this world where alcoholism, marital rapes ,child abuse, sexual abuse, casual relationships and cheating, inappropriate touching and staring are considered okay. Because everyone goes through one or more of them in their lives.

They are considered okay because the society tells us to stay quiet and not seek attention. These things happen because the society thinks it’s alright and it’s better to let go.

And you know the most heartbreaking thing is, it’s us who make the society.

It’s a shame that we are a part of it. A society that doesn’t allow us to express.

Girls are judged for everything, no matter how boys treat them.

A society that teaches us, to close our eyes and think everything is hunky dory when everything is actually not hidden.

Because it is the girl who is responsible to protect herself from the monsters disguised in the form of human beings!

The society has crossed every line possible. Stop telling people to get over it because it was never okay and it will never be okay.

Feeling disgusted,

Clouds in my coffee

21 August 2017

There are days when you feel absolutely nothing. You don’t have a reason or maybe you do have but you fail to get out of this annoying state.

So, I’m writing while traveling in a metro. I still have 55 minutes more to think about what’s going wrong.

Travelling everyday is exhausting for people but for me, it gives me time to figure out things. I introspect,I read, enjoy coke studio and also spend time alone.

Besides this not so good feeling of nothingness, I am blessed to have someone who cares about my existence. It is strange that people far away care to keep a check if I am doing fine even at odd hours.

It’s a blessing to have someone to share your emptiness with. The greatest gift is taking time out of your busy lives for someone you really care. It doesn’t mean talking everyday. It means not talking everyday but still being there. Not everyone finds such companionship in this journey. And if you do, consider yourself lucky 🍀

Counting blessingsClouds in my coffee

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